By Merrie Leininger
No matter how good your relationship is, everyone fights at some point. Laurie Puhn, author of "Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship Without Blowing up or Giving in," shares six tips with Brides magazine how to give up the drama and settle your issues.
Take a seat. The physical act of sitting will also bring down the heightened emotions. Ask questions. Don't jump to conclusions, and don't assume you understand what's behind his actions. Ask questions in a noncombative tone, like "Why do you think this happened?" or "Can you explain that again?"
Don't namecall. It's OK to be mad, but not to be mean. If you want a respectful conversation, you have to first listen to him with respect.
Find a solution together. Don't just argue – in order to stop a pattern, you have to talk about the root of the problem and make a plan for the future. If he's mad because you have shared information he'd like to keep between the two of you, have him explain what he considers private, and make a promise to keep those topics private in the future.
Go to bed angry. You can't be logical if you are circling the same argument at 2 in the morning. If you haven't arrived at a solution by bedtime, agree to leave the disagreement until the morning. Odds are, you'll wake up in a better frame of mind.
Leave the past in the past. Don't rehash unresolved issues in the middle of a new argument. Settle the current problem first, then go back and work on other issues.
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